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How to use EFT to get beyond “I’m right and you’re wrong” – by Andy Hunt
Andy Hunt is an EFT & NLP Trainer and Practitioner living in the North East of England. He works with people who give themselves a hard time and get in their own way. He is the author of the book Getting Out Of Your Own Way – Finding and Releasing Unconscious Blocks with EFT. You can visit him online at: http://www.practicalwellbeing.co.uk/
When I was a teenager I always wanted to be right and for everyone to know that I was right.
I would argue my point of view ‘seven ways till Sunday’ to prove that I was right and even if it didn’t start as an argument it frequently became one.
Now when I look back on it I see an anxious teenager desperate to be taken seriously. Back then, I put a lot of effort into what must have been very tiresome for everyone I was attempting to prove ‘wrong’.
Do the classic EFT Setup Phrases work well for you? If your answer is "sometimes" or "no" you'll be happy to know there is a solution.
Today, we will take a look at the familiar EFT Setup Phrases, “I deeply and completely accept myself,” and “I love and accept myself” with a new perspective.
As many of you may know, EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) was originally taught by Gary Craig. Prior to that, TFT (Thought Field Therapy) was taught by Roger Callahan (from which Gary adapted his own EFT method). During both these trainings, these experts instructed us to tap on an issue in this manner:
Before we started tapping on the issue we would first tap on the Karate Chop Spot or rub the Sore Spot on the chest and simultaneously say aloud, “Even though I have this (here we would insert our own issue), I deeply and completely accept myself, or I love and accept myself.”
Gene Monterastelli is an EFT practitioner in Baltimore, MD, and author of numerous articles on EFT that appear in this newsletter and regularly on his website http://tappingqanda.com/. Contact him.
While this can be a powerful affirmation for some, unfortunately, it has proven not to be suitable for all people, or all occasions.
EFT expert Gene Monterastelli has some inspiring comments on this issue, as you can hear above.
Andy Hunt is an EFT & NLP Trainer and Practitioner living in the North East of England. He works with people who give themselves a hard time and get in their own way. He is the author of the book Getting Out Of Your Own Way – Finding and Releasing Unconscious Blocks with EFT. You can visit him online at www.practicalwellbeing.co.uk.
Most people get into EFT/Tapping as a way of tackling the problems or difficulties in their lives. They use the process as a remedial tool to overcome emotional challenges.
That's a great idea, and it’s why I started to use EFT on a regular basis. In the early years I had a lot of stuff to work with, no shortage of tap-able issues.
Aspects of Trauma from Accidents
A therapist who is a newcomer to EFT poses the following question:
Question: What are your thoughts about the interval between a traumatic event and the appropriate use of EFT? My initial thoughts on this are that there has to be an appropriate interval to allow the mind to do its normal processing, and that the appropriate interval will vary, depending on the intensity of the trauma, circumstances etc. One of my clients was involved in a car accident earlier this year. It was sudden and shocking but not her fault, so there are no financial or legal repercussions. She was taken to the hospital but not detained.
There are some remaining but diminishing problems due to whiplash injury, but she has now lost much of her former confidence in driving, and at work. Before the accident she used to ride her horse, but is now too nervous to do so, and one of her main fears is being alone at home, she fears there might be an accident and no-one to help her. Could I treat each of her fears, which are well defined by her, as an Aspect, and seek to clear each one using EFT? I would appreciate your views on this.
EFT for Multiple Traumas
Interestingly, I have received questions from several different readers which address the same basic issue— the occurrence in these people's lives of one disaster after another, a pile-up of mishaps that have ranged from sudden death of someone near to that person, followed by crippling illness in another family member and subsequent loss of their own job and career, to another reader's experience of an assault against them with attempt to murder, followed by continuous stalking by the now released assailant and the occurrence of a subsequent life threatening illness to themselves which has rendered them unable to work and support themselves — and other overwhelmingly difficult situations that have occurred in people's lives, one after another. The basic question these people posed (not in identical words of course) was, "How can EFT help with this? Any ideas would be appreciated."
There are a number of experiences in childhood that can create fears about presenting new ideas to others. Here are some of them:
Unfortunately we learn some “lessons” that are better not learned at school, along with all the essential knowledge that this institution imparts. One of these can be a deep insecurity about presenting new and different ideas to others.
“In ‘The Secrets of Intentional Wealth’ CD, EFT practitioner and success coach Margaret Lynch brings us a personal development course that is unquestionably among the best self-help materials I have ever encountered.
In order that you will know why this is so, let me share with you my personal experience when taking the course. I came to review it as part of my work in preparing this site and I thought that the course might bring me an opportunity for my own personal growth — that it might be coming to me at the right time. I had no idea what a powerful impact it would actually have.
I've often been asked whether EFT can be used to bring about desirable changes in the world outside of oneself to "manifest" what you want, as this activity is frequently referred to. My answer is both a "yes" and a "no".
We all know how effective EFT is when all is going well with it. The correct EFT statement often makes all the difference in the way we react to a given situation or person.
However, each of us sometimes comes up against a stubborn inner voice that says, “I won't!” (or something equally forceful) to indicate its refusal to comply with our conscious, well-intentioned suggestion. This “I won't!" can take place even while the EFT self-acceptance phrase (“I deeply and completely accept myself…”) is being repeated, or it can undermine any EFT Choices phrase you might make.
By Dr. Patricia Carrington, EFT Master
"I feel better now. It's okay." that person says as they prepare to leave your office (or home) with a word of thanks for your help. They have brought their stress level down from an initial 10 (on the 0 to 10 intensity scale) to a much more desirable number such as a 4, or perhaps a 3, after doing several rounds of EFT. They feel they "don't need any more".
Let me introduce myself. I am a Success Coach. Do you know what that means? My guess is that you don’t, which is why it this title carries a striking marketing advantage to those who qualify for adopting it. One of these might well be you!
These researchers studied ninety-six overweight or obese adults, one half of whom were taught EFT right away, while the other half had to wait for four weeks while just doing whatever they ordinarily did to control food cravings. At the end of this time, the "wait list" group was given training in EFT too, but they had already been thoroughly studied by that time. The "wait list" group was the control (comparison) group.
What were the researchers looking for?
Before the research began, they gave the subjects a series of tests to determine the intensity of their food cravings and measure how strong an influence food exerted over them (that is, its "pull" value). The researchers also investigated the degree of f restraint these people could call upon when faced with tempting food, and the number of psychological symptoms of stress they were exhibiting. Finally, everyone in the study was initially measured to determine their BMI (Body Mass Index), an indication of the way the body stores and distributes fat — the lower the BMI, the healthier the fat deposits of the individual.
After that, and this makes the study particularly interesting, these same subjects were studied again at the end of 12 months.
What had happened?
When re-tested at the end of four weeks, those who had learned EFT showed significantly lowered food cravings compared to the wait list controls that had not learned the method. At that time, the EFT’ers also had improved significantly in the degree to which they could exercise restraint when confronted by tempting foods, and the degree to which food could exert a pulling power over them.
What is particularly interesting was that two of the measures, the intensity of food cravings and the pull of the food on them, remained significantly improved at the end of one year in those who had been practicing EFT, demonstrating the holding power of this technique. Also, the Body Mass Index (BMI) the measure of the body's storage of fat was significantly reduced in those practicing EFT at the end of one year: a highly desirable outcome.
The results of this study show that EFT can have an immediate effect on reducing food cravings and also result in maintenance of these reduced cravings over time. In addition it shows that EFT impacts favorably on The Body Mass Index, reducing it in the desired direction. The researchers suggest that EFT may contribute to the ability of weight loss/dieting programs to assist people to achieve reduced food cravings and therefore lose weight.
* Stapleton, Sheldon, Porter
* In Press, Behavior Change journal.
As long as this human race has been on this planet, famine and shortages of food have caused anxiety to soar within us and drive us to seek food at the expense of our comfort, our sleep, and sometimes even our safety or our lives. Fear is a powerful motivator, so our instinct is to stock up on the food we have inside us – by eating as much of it as we can. Innately, we believe that a well stocked overweight person or animal will survive a famine better.
In my book, "Multiply the Power of EFT," I have described some new ways in which you can deal with pain by using EFT.
Today, I will talk about what I call "giving loving attention” to your pain by doing EFT, and how this can work to alleviate the pain and sometimes to effect actual healing of its underlying cause.
Sometimes the hardest word to say is "no". We want to be helpful. We want to give. We don't want to be selfish. We want to be asked again in the future. There are so many reasons to say "yes". What are the reasons to say "no"?
I was recently reminded of the remarkable effects of the EFT tactic that Gary Craig calls "Borrowing Benefits". He was telling about an experience he recalled from an EFT conference in Chicago several years ago.
By Dr. Patricia Carrington
The Choices Method is a rapid highly targeted method for getting more precise results with Meridian Tapping. Correct?
Well, most of the time. Certainly the Choices method can cut right through resistance of the kind that may be encountered with the default self acceptance phrase "I deeply and completely accept myself", and go straight to the heart of the matter.
By Dr. Patricia Carrington
So-called "resistance" to the EFT process such as not coming down in your intensity level after several rounds of tapping, not remembering to do EFT when it would serve you particularly well to do or feeling certain that EFT will "do no good" for a certain issue, and the like — is always frustrating.
by Gene Monterastelli
[Gene's Note: I am not a medical doctor. I am not qualified to provide medical advice or diagnosis. This article is provided for informational purposes only. Please consult with your primary care physician before making any changes to your health regimen.]
I have found that there are two ways we can improve the effectiveness of a medical implant, whether it be a lens implant in cataract surgery, the replacement of a limb, a pace maker, or any other form of surgical implant — by using Meridian Tapping.
One is by working with the implant directly, the other is by working with the energy created by the implant.
By Pamela Bruner
A question that I often receive from my Meridian Tapping clients is 'Do I need to go back into the past in order to move forward?' Then they go on to say, often, that they don't want to look at the past, they just want to move ahead.
As a coach, I have a great deal of sympathy for this position. Coaching, as opposed to therapy, is supposed to deal with the present and the future, and not with the past. But the answer to the question 'Do I need to deal with the past?' is more complex than that.
by Gene Monterastelli
I have found meridian tapping (of which EFT is an important form) to be a very powerful tool. I have used it to clean up a number of deep emotional issues, but have noticed a number of unusual sensations after doing a session.
by Patsy Anthony, Third and Fourth Grade Teacher
It's time to go back to school…
Those words can elicit a variety of emotions among children.
Unfortunately, not all of those emotions are positive.
What better time to introduce meridian tapping to your children than right now, during their first few weeks of school?
by Dr. Patricia Carrington
In the early 1990's Roger Callahan appeared on a radio show (I was listening to it at the time) and led a woman in tapping who had called into the show about her "absolutely uncontrollable" need to eat a chocolate cake which she had in front of her. Roger led her step by step over the airwaves to tap for this issue. The woman lost any interest in eating the cake. She was astounded. So was the host.
Deborah Dineen was a stranger to me when she phoned my office to ask how she could obtain some information about one of our educational products. At that moment I was manning the phones in my assistant’s absence and I felt drawn to talk with Deborah.
Sadness can be one of the most difficult emotions to use when doing meridian tapping. It really doesn't do it justice to tap on the phrase, "I feel sad."…
Andy Hunt, author of the book, "Getting Out Of Your Own Way – Finding and Releasing Unconscious Blocks with EFT," is an EFT & NLP Trainer and Practitioner living in the North East of England. Andy's EFT method of the 1% solution applies to actions we want to change and it can work brilliantly for that purpose. My use of a 1% solution, as taught in my book, Releasing with Pat, applies to emotions and attitudes that we want to change. Both these applications of the 1% principal can be extremely helpful. In both instances we are speaking about using “gradualness“ when approaching change.
Patient with scleroderma responds to EFT with a surprising improvement in symptoms and a sense of empowerment.
Scleroderma, an autoimmune disease of the body’s connective tissue is characterized by the formation and accumulation of scar tissue in the skin and organs of the body. It can be seriously incapacitating. Baerbel Froehlin, is an EFT Practitioner who specializes in acute crisis management for complex emotional issues and for the physical symptoms that often accompany them. I think you will find her account of her recent work with a scleroderma patient to be informative and unusually exciting.
Strangely, remembering to do the things that are most useful for us can be difficult. This is because something in us does not want to be stopped in its tracks, we don’t want to switch gears. Often we need to tap most are when we are rushing to get done those things that are on our agenda at this moment. This reluctance to switch gears, to interrupt even an unpleasant situation by using an intervention that is helpful, is not true just for the energy psychology methods, it is true of any self-help technique that you can name.